Tuesday, May 7, 2013

What I learned from love.

First of all, please bear with my terrible English writing if my words are weird to read. What i want to write about is my first love.
The first love i had teach me I how to unconditionally love a person in my life other than my family member. She taught me a lot things in life that made me feel more alive in this boring world(I used to think that this life is so boring). Love is a beautiful thing, From the first date I have with her, my feeling for her getting stronger until the point that makes me feel that I wanted to see her more especially her smile, because it is the smile that she showed me were one of the most beautiful thing in life. I feel my self in seven heaven because no matter how tired, how frustrated, or how depress I am, but with that angelic smile, I have been pulled up above the world and that makes me feel so happy forgot all the negative feelings. I have been in a beautiful relationship with her for more than ten months regardless of unofficial or official. It is a wonderful experience during the time we spend together. She always say I am cute and spoil me a lot to the point of letting me do whatever I want. She always buy me a lot of gifts. She had sad past in her life, I wish that i could be with her forever to make her happy and smile.

Unfortunately, we have to end this relationship because of some reasons that cause us not being able to spend more time for each other and our path do not cross anymore. I could not be with her anymore. But my feeling of love for her would not die, because love never dies unless heart dies. And I also wanted to appreciate the feeling she gave me, I will never forget her, her existence is one in the world for me. I thank her for everything she gave me and would not hate her because the feeling of love is stronger than hatred. My love for her no longer romantic but I will stand for her and love her as friend. Though this may sound weird as well, but what I can say is "This is life we live, if we don't live on how we desire, we will regret".
In life, we will face three stages of love in life: 
1st: First love

2nd: Unforgettable love
3rd: The last love
Thank you for everything, you are the love that I have as first love and unforgettable love.
But now I will be waiting for the last stages of love in life in future.

One more thing:
She even asked me this: "why do you not hate me?"
Then i said: "the answer will always be the same"
love never dies, and i do not hate her because life is too short to hate someone else.
Besides, hatred will reduce ones lifespan, so it is not advisable to hate a person.
I still love her, but this do not mean that I am not move one, just that i am using a different way to love her as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
This post is to appreciate her existence in my life and impact me a lot in my future life. Thank you.

Learn from betrayal

I have accidentally learned about the truth for one month before this date or more than one month.
What I learn from this is betrayal.
A betrayal from friendship and other things that happened in life.
Although betrayal has made me lost my trust towards life and friends, but that does not stop me from believing. 

You can call me a crazy but not a fool. A fool will only stop learn to trust people after they found out that they have been betrayed. But a crazy people like me will continue to believe because there is still hope and chance to learn to trust people again right after the tragedy.
Betrayal happens when the other party has no choice but to take this tragic actions, and end or to take matters to another level. They could not let things stay as it used to be, that is why things must change in order to suit their favor. 

I have hurt and depressed in this betrayal of life, but I learn more than just accepting the fact that I been betrayed. At first, I really can't accept it because I hate betrayal the most than anything else in life, I hate lies that deceive people, that causes my mind tells me that I should not trust any other people; but one thing different is that My heart tells me otherwise, because with love and trust in life, it is the key to open up people's heart and heal their pain. 

This may sound easier said than done about learn to trust people again. But I strongly believe that, it can be as easy as said, because I no longer feel that way, not because I have not deep feeling, but I learn fast enough to recover from this damage and able to change my life differently. 

Also, what I learned is that I have forgotten about people that love me so much in my life, I have ignored them for quite a long time, so now will be the time for me to repay them for loving me by spend my time with them while they still with me.

One thing that I have hidden for long time is that, it is not because I really don't know, I'm just act don't know because during old times, I hate to do troublesome things. Thus, I just acted and be different that how I used to be. Maybe this can be one of my mistake, but I my self know it clearly that I know what I want and do whatever I can to see what's more interesting things in life. 
Now, I won't simply act anymore, and just live my life in more interesting ways i guess.

To success in life, we don't have to revenge on people who betrayed us, but to show them that the betrayal is just a slice of life that help them grow stronger. Just like how Kelly Clarkson sang the song of "What doesn't kill you make you stronger"
If the betrayal did not kill you and lead you a better life, it means that this have make you a stronger person.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

What is the problem?

I have one friend, that I used to warned her not to do it. She says that its okay don't worry, and then things just happen as how i warned her.
Is it my fault that i failed as a friend?
or is it a human nature that not listening to someone else except themselves?
why human being always being so over-confident?
is it good that always being so over confident and do not like to listen to others?

Saturday, February 18, 2012

what did i did wrong???

What did i did wrong??
come on, just tell me what is it??
as you know(sound familiar??),
you may need time, but its only for your self, as for me~~
I don't need it, because......I can't have it(things will get messy if you know what i mean)
everything for me will be done easily, unless i told you that i need time.....
please....don't run away....if you understand what i said....

As from different person's view point, don't use your way of solution on me...cause its useless on me....
and, please...i beg you...don't simply use any solution without asking me unless the problem is not related to me~~~~
just give me a chance to know, to understand, cause if you don't....i' ll let you know this....that is i' m tired of waiting....
you can say that i m over thinking about this kind of things, but telling you the truth....
I never thought about this, just that some god damn negative feelings is my heart is getting stronger as the time pass.
And here i' m...lead by the feelings and type it out without a second thought....
amazing aye???

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

life is simple

life is fucking simple....and why the hell are we making it so damn complicated???
the reason is freaking simple...is that we sit around and think so fucking much about things that are haven't or not going to happen with taking any action....(dont come and find me if you are disagree about this)
why the hell do we think too much????
its another simple reason, it because of 1 word...that is fear...
the feeling of fear that keep us stand on your on feet and not moving around...keep us imprisoned in our very own "chamber of darkness" in our heart...make us scare of contacting the outside world....

fuck!!!there's no inspiration in my head for freaking half year!!!!

Thursday, July 28, 2011