chinese new year....

Chinese new is just around the corner!!!!!
just feel empty in my heart...wonder why??
maybe i' m just miss my granpa??who already left the world 1 year ago...
damn~don't even know how to describe him...but all i know that he is a kind person and like to bring me out for "yamcha" when i' m around age if 5??
last yeAR, it was a damn shock for me when my dad called me and said that granpa is gone...gone forever..., i packed up my stuff and wait for my mum to depart,my dad already wentback to muar that's why i only wait for my mum...i' just cant control my self and i even overspeed on high way....around 160++km/h(trust me, its honda accord,its freaking steady even the speed is over 150km/p... plus my "speed limiter"(my mum) din't even realise that i overspeed,cause she fall asleep...)
i cried at the moment i saw my granpa...lying down on the bed before he is shifted into the coffin...
that is the day that i dont even want to have in my life....i even prayed that i rather "sunder" my lifespan to my granpa and granma...hope that they will have a long life...because our family actually is just like a plate of scatter sand...i fear that if my granparents wasnt there...they might not return to that house FOREVER...that is my greatest fear in my life....i rather pay up my life as a cost to avoid that shit.....but in the end.......things still happen......JUST WHAT THE DAMN SHIT IS HAPPENING!!!!!!!!DAMN!
i miss granpa....this just wont goes off my mind and heart......
just hoping that this coming chinese new year is a bit "different" than any other in the pass...XD

Daily routine...just work...

Wake up, eat, work, eat, work, sleep....
then continue like this every day...
What The Hell~ miss lots of good things in my youth........Darn it!!!!!!!!
if this goes on for another few months, i'm gonna be a working machine........
work work work.....no choice but to work........i wanna play,study, and .....??what else??
damn...forget it..
endure,endure........itself is an art....of I forgot what it call.........neh........who cares!!!
every human being have a lifespan of average of 65 to 75 year...
its only take 25 years to complete study ever since we born....then we go work....
after a long period of working we go retire....then buy a coffin(shocking!!!!buy coffin??or a grave??)....
just a cycle of human life.....so boring...
is there anything else that can spice up the cycle to make it more fun??
guess not........







i know its weird~
actually...this just pop up from my head out of sudden.....then i type out~